If You Want To Do Your Own Divorce
The decision to get a divorce is the last and only resort for couples who find it impossible to be together anymore. However, as couples or individuals make this decision, they need to be well-informed of its potential consequences to themselves, their partners and even their children. Marriage is expected to be a lasting equally rewarding relationship and it is therefore no surprise that divorce brings forth a painful experience for all the involved parties.
The first stage of a divorce is the writing the petition. This is done by either of the spouse (the petitioner) and is later filed in a state court in the county where one of the spouses resides. To do your own divorce in Oklahoma, you must meet the residency requirements before the court accepts your case. The plaintiff or defendant in the divorce action must have been an actual resident of Oklahoma for 6 months prior the filing of the petition. The petition for divorce should also declare valid grounds for seeking divorce.
After a petition is written, it should be served to the other spouse, who responds and then the final agreement terms of the divorce are made. But this process is never as easy as it appears. First there is the financial implication of hiring a lawyer for the process. Even when a divorce is amicable, it is impossible to escape paying a significant amount of legal fees. In many jurisdictions, even a do-it-yourself-divorce could still cost up to $1500. The more complicated a divorce is, the higher the legal fees. And it is not just about the legal fees, maintaining two separate households can also be financially draining as your income remains the same but the expenses sort of increase. Articles On Divorce will show you how you can handle all aspects of the divorce process.
Then we have the emotions. Ending a marriage can be chaotic, full of contradicting emotions and traumatic. Couples undergoing divorce try to create distance between each other and this usually takes the form of fault finding. Some people become more vulnerable to depression at this point and are even likely to abuse alcohol and drugs. But the emotional turmoil and stress will fade after a while depending on the circumstances. Research shows that individuals with high income and education, high social support and those that divorce at young ages are likely to quickly recover from the emotional pain of a divorce.
Embracing change is another difficulty divorcing couples experience. Some regard the failure of their marriage as failure on their part as capable beings. The inability to accept the failure of their marriage makes them judge themselves too harshly. Their self-esteem is suppressed and they become brittle and easy to break. This often affects those that still hoped for the marriage to work and were not for the idea of a divorce or insecure partners. To make it easy to adjust to a divorce, you are advised to avoid any conflict during the process so as to experience less negative emotion.
For divorcing couples with children, the process even becomes more complex. The children experience denial, anger and are filled with fears of abandonment. Their self-esteem could also be affected as they start feeling different from other kids with complete families. Children will often worry as to who will take care of them and in most cases will end up having feelings of alienated loyalties between their parents. In some extreme cases, the children may become triangulated with one parent against the other. Children could also develop a sense of blame and guilt especially if they see parents argue in the presence on matters affecting them directly or indirectly.
Loss of confidence in the institution of marriage is another implication of a divorce. Some individuals find it difficult to engage in another relationship after a divorce. They carry feelings of mistrust and resentment towards the opposite sex which make another relationship impossible. For others, they live with the fear that another marriage will end down the same path and thus refrain from getting into another commitment.
It is important to note that people will react to a divorce differently depending on the personalities, grounds for divorce and quality of relationship they had with each other. It is therefore difficult to anticipate one’s reaction to a divorce situation. Being aware of the implications of a divorce before deciding to pursue it could put individuals in a better position to cope with the effects as they already know what to expect.